Try this exercise first before contacting your special cupcake. This is from Positive Psychotherapy (but I'm modifying it for dating purposes):

Take a moment to imagine your life in the future. Consider what type of relationship you want to find. What is the best possible self you can imagine when meeting new people? What values are important for you when dating? What would happen in your future if you imagined the best case scenario and embraced your values?

For the next 15 minutes, write continuously about what you imagine this best possible future to be. We encourage you to focus on the future—imagine a brighter future in which you are your best self and your circumstances change just enough to make this best possible life happen. Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.

Here is the original exercise: Best Possible Self

Intentionality

Sometimes you might hear this word used synonymously with "mindfully". They aren't quite the same things but both imply that we are aware of ourselves in the here-and-now.

Intentionality means we are making conscious, informed decisions at each moment of our lives, especially in the present (ie. here-and-now).

If it sounds difficult... you're right. It's really hard to be intentional when modern day overwhelms us with responsibilities and decisions.

Hence, we strive to be intentional as much as we can.

if you have a headache reading this.. it's ok.. it's not easy to do. Basically, we have to be intentionally intentional.

The Best Posssible Self (BPS) exercise is an example of setting an intention for positive change. Was your BPS (in dating) imagined with an emphasis on kindness, empathy and transparency? If not, try doing the exercise again and see what changes!

Let's lead with intention!

Authentic Striving while Dating

Want some more help?

Why do I need to understand my values system?

What is all this nonsense?

How does this help me with dating?

This section is under construction! Come back as more research is added in how to create your own unique approach to dating based on your values systems.

LINKS:

(I'm trying really really hard NOT to put this into APA formatting... and yes, I can tell you where the ellipses, periods, italicization rules and the ordering... by memory.. useless academic information that let's you know why I flounder at dating).